Captain Hammond and the Mysterons

“In the past, the threats we faced came only from the sea, from land and, more recently, from the air.

Now, they also come from two new domains, space and cyber space, and from non-state protagonists as well as from nation states.”

The words of Philip Hammond, UK Secretary of State for Defence, from the speech he gave yesterday.

We know that he wasn’t really talking about alien invasion, fun ‘though it’s been to joke about that this morning, but rather more Earth-based space-based ‘threats’.

But as with all of the other Armageddon announcements of our impending military demise that BT throw at us, where or whom does this vague threat come from?

No nation on Earth currently has space-based weaponry that is known of. Even the USA, who imagined and later shelved their ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Son of Star Wars’ programmes, are not thought to have this capability. So who is it? And what do they want from a country with just 0.076% of the world’s population?

This information is, of course, ‘classified’…

But what if, as suggested by Hammond, the threat is from “non-state protagonists”? Are we talking about terrorist organisations or individuals?

Are we to believe that Al Qa’ida have a space programme?

Or perhaps it’s Richard Branson, because we all know how keen he is to get up there. What’s his REAL motivation?

Or even, heaven forbid, could Dr Evil have finally developed his “laser”?



Even dismissing thoughts of ‘little green men’ from Hammond’s speech, the fact is that it is still a laughably implausible threat, and nothing more. Another infinitely vague and frankly insulting attempt to intimidate the Scottish electorate into believing that we have “the best of both worlds”.

But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, for just one last moment.

What if he’s right, and North Korea or some similar nation has Scotland in their sights from their moonbase?

What defensive strategies do the MoD have in place?

What Great British space programme will save our eternally ungrateful bahookies?

Or will Darling reveal his true identity at last and save us all…